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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27129730">did you mean it?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelanguages/pseuds/crushculture'>crushculture (lovelanguages)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Choi Beomgyu Evasion Tactics, Drunken Confessions, M/M, Peak Bastard Choi Yeonjun Energy, The Absolute Worst Love Confession Known to Man</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:29:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,791</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27129730</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelanguages/pseuds/crushculture</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s the things we don’t want to think about the most that gets repeated over and over again. </p><p>Yeonjun-hyung, he had said. I’m in love with you, he confessed. </p><p>(Or: Beomgyu drunkenly confesses over the phone. Yeonjun tries to confront him. Fight or Flight instincts are activated.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Beomgyu/Choi Yeonjun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>354</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>did you mean it?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is part of my dialogue challenge on twt. i had actually written this in my friends' dms prior but finally got a chance to write and flesh it out as a fic when @antibeomjun on twt gave me the prompt "48 - "You're a terrible liar." </p><p>i hope you all like it! this is perhaps one of the funniest things i've written.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Beomgyu wants to die. He is ready to end it all. Send all thoughts and prayers, because God? He’s coming up. </p><p>No, Beomgyu is not being dramatic. What he is, is fucked. </p><p>He should have listened to Taehyun when he’d said, Beomgyu, you need to stop drinking. It’s not good for you. </p><p>And truly, it was not good for Beomgyu. </p><p>You see, Beomgyu woke up on this fine morning with a headache massive enough to compete with Soobin’s big head. The headache was fine, because well, he’s a university student with a keen interest in parties. This is not the first time he’s woken up with a terrible hangover. </p><p>However, it <em> is </em> the first time he’s woken up with the memory so regretful he is ready to give up on alcohol forever. It hits him all at once: </p><p>Playing beer pong with Jeongin. </p><p>Losing terribly and having to chug too much beer. </p><p>Leading a conga line while singing terribly off-key. </p><p>Trying to call a ride home and misdialing. </p><p>Accidentally calling Yeonjun—</p><p>God, Beomgyu can’t even bear to think about it, but his brain hates him. It’s the things we don’t want to think about the most that gets repeated over and over again. </p><p><em> Yeonjun-hyung</em>, he had said. <em> I’m in love with you</em>, he confessed. </p><p>He said many other things before that confession too, but he’s trying hard to remember what Yeonjun had said in response. He doesn’t think he said anything. Maybe Beomgyu had hung up immediately? Who knows? </p><p>If he remembers correctly, Yeonjun had been at another party last night too. Maybe he was drunk and couldn’t remember anything. Maybe it was too loud and he heard nothing. There were no messages or additional calls on his phone after that, and Yeonjun was definitely the type of person to follow up if he’d receive <em> that kind </em> of call. </p><p>It’s with that hope that pushes him to go to their brunch meet up that morning with their circle of friends. He knows he can skip it and claim a hangover without lying to avoid Yeonjun, but he <em> has </em> to know if Yeonjun remembers the confession. He can’t live with the suspense. He has to know immediately if he has to drop out of school, change his name and move to another country. </p><p>When Beomgyu gets to their brunch spot, hope begins to grow in him that Yeonjun maybe doesn’t remember anything. Yeonjun immediately calls him out for looking like he’s been through the wringer, saying, “Wow, BG, how much did you drink last night?” </p><p>“Too much, don’t be too loud. I’m recovering,” Beomgyu manages to respond, works hard to look disgruntled instead of goddamn nervous. Finally, the dramatics of being a Pisces is being put to good use. </p><p>Yeonjun just laughs in response, the way he usually does when he manages to annoy Beomgyu, but his response is comforting, “It’s okay, dude. I’m also recovering.” </p><p><em> Are you really? </em> Beomgyu wants to retort. Yeonjun looks great in comparison to the rest of their friends who didn’t even drink, and he looks like a model next to Beomgyu’s barely put together outfit, random pieces of clothing he’d found on the floor, and a matching bucket hat to hide the bird’s nest his hair has become. What kind of hungover person wears a fashionable blazer over a classic white shirt and loose black pants combo? </p><p>It’s not fair, and Beomgyu has no words for him (though that is for multiple reasons, mainly which is that if he opens his big mouth, he might just blurt out the question he’s been wanting to ask all morning). So he quietly gives his order, listens to Kai chatter about this new game he’s playing, listens to Taehyun try to convince Soobin to join the Student Government with him, and tries his best not to stare at Yeonjun, which is really super hard because they’re directly seated right in front of the other. </p><p>Brunch is done before Beomgyu knows it. And he’s almost ready to conclude that Yeonjun either doesn’t remember anything from last night or he does and he simply won’t bring up. If it’s the former, Beomgyu is safe. If it’s the latter, well, Beomgyu will pretend that nothing happened. He’ll follow the example his hyung sets for once. </p><p>When they get up to leave though and Beomgyu is about to throw a peace sign and deuce the fuck out, Yeonjun calls his name. </p><p>Beomgyu holds his breath and then turns to his hyung, “What’s up?” </p><p>Yeonjun scratches the back of his neck, “Are you gonna be okay? You were pretty quiet all morning, when usually you’d be the liveliest one out of all of us.” </p><p>“Yeahhhhhh,” Beomgyu drags out in response. He is the king of casual conversations. “I’ll be okay. Nothing a good night’s rest won’t solve.” </p><p>Yeonjun nods at that. </p><p>Beomgyu nods back. </p><p>And then a heavy silence falls between them and it makes Beomgyu restless. He awkwardly gestures to the direction of his dorm, “Think I’m gonna go—”</p><p>“Actually,” Yeonjun cuts him off, and Beomgyu waits for his next words, but Yeonjun pauses again. Puts his hands in his pockets. Looks off to the side. Visibly takes a big breath. It’s such a rare show of hesitance and nervousness that it strikes fear in Beomgyu’s heart. <em> Fuck</em>, Beomgyu thinks, <em> fuck</em>. </p><p>Yeonjun manages to get over whatever internal struggle he’s having and meets Beomgyu’s eyes. “You,” He starts again, “How much do you remember of last night? Because you called me and—” </p><p>Beomgyu immediately bolts. Yeonjun has always activated his fight or flight response, and though before he’s always chosen fight, his body immediately decides that this is a flight only option. He’s always been a fast runner, and he thanks the heavens that he’s way faster than Yeonjun is, because he hears him chase after Beomgyu, hears him call out his name, how he just wants to talk. </p><p>But Beomgyu will not stop for him. He is not ready to hear whatever words Yeonjun needs to say. Beomgyu doesn’t have explanations to excuse what he had said. Yeonjun has always seen through him and this time will be no exception.</p><p>So, he runs fast to lose his tail. He manages to find a little alley to hide in and hears Yeonjun run past his hiding spot. Beomgyu holds his breath. He stays there, crouched and terrified, for a good five minutes. Stays for another five just to be certain he won’t get caught. And only then, does he leave. </p><p>He doesn’t go back to his dorm immediately. Yeonjun knows where he lives. He hides at a friend’s apartment instead. Nurses his hangover there. His friend is gracious enough to let him stay the night and then Beomgyu’s conscience hits him, so he goes back to his own dorm to finally sleep on his own bed. He lives with fear that Yeonjun will catch him, so he leaves his dorm at odd times to go to classes. Makes extra sure to be cautious when coming home to ensure he won’t cross paths with Yeonjun. </p><p>These stupid evasion tactics don’t last forever though. For after a week of hiding and isolation, Yeonjun catches him as he’s about to leave at his apartment, corners him by the door, and declares, “You can go back inside, but know that I’m not leaving.” </p><p>Beomgyu knows he’s backed into a corner, so in a small voice he says, “Okay, what’s going on, hyung?” </p><p>Yeonjun looks at him unimpressed, “Dude, you’ve been avoiding me for a straight week. We need to talk.” </p><p>Beomgyu meekly nods, opening the door of his dorm room wide for Yeonjun to go in. He steels himself for what he knows for sure will be the rejection of a lifetime. <em> You aren’t a coward, Choi Beomgyu</em>, he thinks to himself. <em> The time to get rejected has got to come at some point, so let’s at least meet it with some of our dignity intact</em>. </p><p>Yeonjun stands a safe distance from him, choosing to lean against Beomgyu’s study desk, while Beomgyu stands awkwardly by the door. Beomgyu chooses to look at his shoes instead and hopes Yeonjun would start talking already. </p><p>Yeonjun just sighs though, “I’m not gonna bite. Stop looking like I’m going to yell at you.” </p><p>Beomgyu pouts, “Well, that’s just my face. I don’t want to have this conversation. What do you want me to do?” </p><p>“I want you to look at me, at the very least.” Yeonjun says, “The way you’re standing by the door makes me nervous. Are you going to stop running away from me?” </p><p>Beomgyu bites his lip, nodding, but he can’t bring himself to look at Yeonjun. </p><p>“You’re really not going to look at me?” Yeonjun asks, in a tone much softer than how he’s been speaking for the past few moment. “I just want to have an honest talk, I promise. I’m not even angry, just—frustrated.” </p><p>Beomgyu swallows. This Yeonjun, the softest version of him, the one that sounds like the Yeonjun of an alternate universe that likes him back, is the most terrifying one at all. Terrifying because Beomgyu can never say no to him. </p><p>“Beomie, please?” Yeonjun asks again. “I haven’t seen you in a whole week. Let’s at least do this facing each other. Please?” </p><p>Already, Beomgyu is lifting his head to meet Yeonjun’s eyes. See? This is what he means; the power Choi Yeonjun has over him. For this act of bravery, Yeonjun rewards him with a beautiful smile. </p><p>“Ah,” Yeonjun sighs, coming up to him and grabbing his face with both hands, “There he is. Choi Beomgyu, my cutest dongsaeng in the world.” </p><p>Beomgyu flushes red, but Yeonjun doesn’t even let him get a word out, “Are you going to be honest with me?” </p><p>Does Beomgyu have any other choice?</p><p>So he nods and Yeonjun, finally satisfied with his response, begins: “On the night of twenty-fourth of September, when you called me, super duper drunk, and said, Choi Yeonjun, I hate you and your stupid handsome face and your stupid pretty smile and your ugly hands I want to hold all the time, did you mean it?” </p><p>Oh my god. Beomgyu wants the earth to open up and swallow him whole. If he was flushed before, he was beet red now. He stares at this random pimple of Yeonjun’s forehead and says, “Yes.” </p><p>Yeonjun doesn’t even blink, “You’re a terrible liar. My hands are very nice. Why would you call them ugly?” </p><p>In between his want to disintegrate to the ground and bolt out of Yeonjun’s hands, he finds it in himself to roll his eyes, “Where are you going with this?” </p><p>But Yeonjun completely ignores him, “Okay, moving on. After that, you said, why are you so stupid, Choi Yeonjun? You’re such a fool when it comes to ramen and you make the worst jokes. You always like to tease me, and it’s really not fair that you’re always targeting me when Taehyun and Kai and Soobin are right there—” </p><p>“O-m-g,” Beomgyu cuts in, “Did you memorize this?” </p><p>“With my whole heart,” Yeonjun teases. “Don’t worry, the best part is still yet to come.” </p><p>Beomgyu could smack him. He really could. </p><p>Yeonjun continues, “After that you said, I hate that you make me feel special like that, you make me feel delusional in a way that I start thinking that maybe I am special to you. I hate that God gave you everything but brains, because if he gave you that, maybe you’d realize that I’ve been in love with you for the past two years.” </p><p>“Maybe,” Yeonjun licks his lips, heaves out a breath and repeats, “Maybe, if he gave you that, you’d realize that I’ve been in love with you for the past two years.” Yeonjun tilts his head, looks at Beomgyu’s eyes earnestly and says, “You said my name like a sigh and then said, I’m in love with you.” </p><p>“I—” Beomgyu starts, “I…” </p><p>“My favorite part is when you yelled at me really loudly and ended your speech with a big fat, YOU SUCK, and then hung up,” Yeonjun chuckles, and he sounds way too fond for someone who was recounting a time he’d been insulted. His laughter fades though and he begins to look searchingly at Beomgyu’s face. His eyes flitting from Beomgyu’s eyes to his nose and Beomgyu nervously notes, to his mouth. “I...I tried bringing it up with you the other day, but you ran away. So, all this time, I’ve been trying to figure out if you meant it.” </p><p>Beomgyu blinks fast, tries to process and parse the emotion in Yeonjun’s voice. But there’s just too much process and at the end of the day, Beomgyu’s lost. Yeonjun already knows everything anyway, so there’s nothing left for him to hide. So, bravely he says, “Yes, I meant it. That last part...I really meant it.” </p><p>“Which part?” Yeonjun raises a brow, “That part where you said I sucked?” </p><p>Beomgyu frowns, “You know what I mean! That last part!” </p><p>Yeonjun narrows his eyes, “Hmm, that part where you said God gave me everything but brains? The part where I make you feel delusional? The part where you hate me?” </p><p>Beomgyu could throttle him. He can’t believe the nerve of this guy. He can’t take being teased like this over his feelings, so he says, “You really do suck. You’re the absolute worst. I completely meant it when I said that I’ve been in love with you for the past two years. That’s absolutely true. So, let’s stop wasting time here. Hurry up and reject me already, so I can cry about it and we can forget this stupid thing ever happened—” </p><p>“Do you know,” Yeonjun sighs, “how long I’ve waited to hear those words from you? This isn’t really how I imagined you’d say it...I’ve always pictured you saying it cutely and you’d act shy. And instead of saying you hate me, you’d list out all my good points and it would be super romantic—” </p><p>Beomgyu cannot believe his ears. </p><p>“—but this is okay too.” Yeonjun concludes, looking at him with the warmest gaze, “I’ve been in love with you for a while now too and you know what? I hate the fact that I still think you look super cute right now even when you’re so angry with me—”<br/><br/>“What the fuck?” is all Beomgyu can say and Yeonjun bulldozes past his response and says, “I think we should kiss now.” </p><p>Yeonjun leans close to kiss him and Beomgyu immediately puts his hand to block him, “Hold on, I’m still processing.”<br/><br/>Yeonjun tilts his head, confused, “What is there to process? Come kiss me already. I’ve been waiting for you to process this for a week.” </p><p>“Hello?” Beomgyu frowns, “I just got the shock of my life. My heart is not beating right now—” </p><p>Yeonjun giggles, “Well, maybe your heart will restart if I kiss you. Come on, pretty boy, think later, kiss now.” </p><p>Beomgyu glares at him, “Who says I want to kiss you?” </p><p>Yeonjun gasps and his mouth falls back to a pout, “You are not playing hard to get right now. You’ve been apparently playing hard to get for the past two years. I am here ready to kiss you—” </p><p>Beomgyu sticks his tongue out and escapes out of Yeonjun’s hold. He laughs as he tries to run away, but his dorm room is small and Yeonjun quickly corners him, crowding him against a wall. His laughter dies at the serious look of Yeonjun’s eyes, at the way Yeonjun cups his cheeks. “I’m serious. I’ve been waiting to do this. I’ve dreamt about this, thought about it. Can I please kiss you?” </p><p>And Beomgyu really doesn’t have it in him to deny him after all of that. Because, well, he too has dreamt about this, has thought about it, has been waiting a long time for it. </p><p>He nods and that’s all Yeonjun needs from him, finally leaning close to kiss him. Beomgyu closes his eyes and meets him halfway. </p><p>When they pull away from each other, after a considerable amount of time, Beomgyu sighs happily. “I’m glad I don’t have to drop out of school, change my name, and move out of the country.” </p><p>Yeonjun laughs, leaning back in again to press a quick smooch on Beomgyu’s nose, “I’m glad you called me.” </p><p>When Beomgyu woke up a week ago with the memory of that call, he definitely wasn’t glad when he did that. But here, with Yeonjun smiling at him, holding him and unable to let go without giving him one kiss after the other, he can honestly say, “Yes, I’m glad I did too.” </p>
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